Full Book Cover!

In the midst of everything else, I'm busy getting ready for the release of Snow on the Tulips (just a little over 2 months away!!!). Last week, I got a peek at what the entire cover - front and back - will look like. How cool is this??

pre-order at amazon, barnes and noble, and christian book.com

Yesterday, I had a conference call with my marketing person at Thomas Nelson. I didn't realize how little I knew about publicity. Helpful hint to all college students wanting to be authors: take some marketing and business classes! But I'm learning and working on ideas. Articles, blog posts, Facebook, Twitter, book groups, on and one.

Be sure to visit my signings and speaking pages for updates as I book appearances.

Lymph Node Biopsy Results

For those of you who may have missed it, my lymph node biopsy results came back yesterday - NEGATIVE!!! I'm so thankful to the Lord for that. One more test result (oncotype) before I know if I will need chemo or not.

I'm healing from the surgery, though this one has taken more out of me than the other. Today was my best day so far. It's painful to move my arm (my right one, of course) and I'm bruised under my arm. The wound itself looks good. Guess this is just how this surgery is.

Otherwise, my life continues. We managed to help my dad pull off another plant sale. Sales were slow this year. Most of yesterday was a wash - literally. As usual, I'm done in. Brian has been busy with the school play, working behind the scenes. I haven't seen him much all weekend.

And so it goes. I have an appointment scheduled with the medical oncologist on Friday that I get to cancel if the oncotype is good, so pray for that. Otherwise, my week should be quiet, which I'm grateful for. The following week I have a bunch of doctor's appointments to make up for it. Fun, fun.

Thank you all for the prayers. They are sustaining me. Your support throughout this journey means so much.

Sentinel Node Biopsy

I had my sentinel node biopsy on Tuesday. The surgery went well. The preliminary reports looked clean, so I only had to have two nodes removed. I woke up from the anesthesia much easier, for which I was thankful. I did have a little nausea, but not bad. Once I ate some jello, it went away.

I am having more pain with this procedure. My stomach doesn't take too well to pain meds, so I'm getting by on Tylenol and ice. I did get a bit of a scare. Before I left the hospital, I noticed tingling in my thumb. I mentioned it to the nurse who told me to call the surgeon in the morning if it didn't get better. By the time we got to the car, my pointer finger was going numb, and by the time we arrived home, my middle finger and my palm tingled. The word lymphodema popped into my head.

Of course, with Google, I looked up what this might mean, and it didn't sound good. For one woman, it lasted for months and cause her to need physical therapy. I just prayed and prayed about it. That was a complication I didn't want to face.

When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I realized the tingling was gone. Completely. I was worried that with typing, it might return. It didn't and it hasn't. Praise the Lord for prayers answered before they were even prayed. Another example of his goodness to me.

I continue to await the final biopsy report. I should have that early next week. The oncotype is still out, so I've had to reschedule my orientation with the radiology oncologist. The only time they had available: the day Alyssa was scheduled to get her braces off. I hated to break the bad news to her. Bless her, she was so forgiving about it. She has no problems waiting an extra week. What a wonderful daughter. She may deserve Culver's after that appointment.

The waiting continues. I'm anxious to get going with the treatment. Thank you all for the prayers and well-wishes. Last weekend I went to the cabin to finish work on my book due June 1. Being alone there gave me time to read, pray and think. This week has been better emotionally. Next week is light on appointments (yay!), so I can concentrate on my book and on Brian's high school graduation.

Life goes on, doesn't it? I still have my jobs and my family responsibilities. Brian will graduate high school in two weeks (O.K., that's crazy to write). Normalcy surrounds me, and I like that. For a while, I'm not a cancer patient. I'm Liz. The author, the wife, the mother, the sister, the daughter. Groceries need to be bought, bathrooms need to be cleaned, laundry needs to be folded. And that's good.

The American Cancer Society has been calling. I've been ignoring them ;) Not that they don't do great work with certain people. But I'm blessed to have a wonderful family, dear friends, and a network of fellow believers. Support group? I go to one every Sunday morning. It's called church. I know women who have gone through this, who are there to help answer questions and lead me through this medical maze.

I'm not minimizing what organizations like them do. There are women not as blessed as I am who need a hand. The research they help fund is invaluable. It's why I have a great chance of being cured. But they aren't for me. Not my scene.

I've heard Christianity referred to as a crutch. In simple terms, I suppose that term is appropriate. I am broken and can't walk through this life alone. Christ is my "crutch", my support, my aid in this journey. I'll proudly use God as my crutch. 

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

Cancer Sucks

Yesterday was my appointment with the medical oncologist. This is the doctor that will oversee my chemo, if I need any, and my tamoxifen. We didn't get much new information, which is a good thing. I am scheduled to see a genetic counselor, but I don't know if I'll keep the appointment.

The title of the post comes from my sister. Thirteen years ago, she battled leukemia. What I have to go through, even worse case scenario, doesn't compare to her struggle. Praise the Lord, she is cancer free and off all meds now. But she gets it. Cancer sucks.

It's not necessarily the having it, but it's all that goes along with it. My head is swimming with the information. I have already had so many doctors appointments, I can't keep track of all of them. There are many more to come. No matter what my course of treatment, there will be side effects. None of them are pleasant. I've had one surgery and will have another on Tuesday. My one scar is ugly enough. Not that anyone sees it, but it's there and it bothers me. What a little thing to be bothered by, but I am. If I'm going to be transparent, I might as well let you see the ugly along with the good.

Because there is good. I'm reading an excellent article by John Piper called Don't Waste Your Cancer. I'm digesting it and meditating on it in bits. One of his points is that cancer should cause us to fall on our knees and cry to to our God, because he alone is able to heal. And that is what I have been doing. That is what the Lord tells us to do and he is faithful and always answers.

Psalm 34:17-19 (ESV)
17When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
    and delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
    but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

What a precious promise. And he has been good to me. How I would walk this road without Him is unimaginable. 

So, yes, cancer does suck. But God is even bigger than cancer. He is near and he is listening to me and caring for me. In this life, what more can we ask?

Radiation Oncologist Appointment and HER-2 Results

Yesterday afternoon was a "cancer" afternoon. Pulling up to the cancer center for the first time really hit home. This is real. And it's not over yet.

First I met with the breast cancer care coordinator. She is a very nice woman and she gave me a ton of information - so much that we had to put it all in a grocery bag so I could carry it. Honestly, though, I don't think I'm ready to read all of it. Little by little, I'm coping. But big chunks of information have me on overload. I can't process much right now. Tidbits.

She had the results of my HER-2 test, and they were negative!!! Praise the Lord! No year-long chemo treatments. One down, two to go before I know whether I'll be facing chemo or not.

Afterward, Doug and I met with the radiation oncologist. We waited for 30 minutes just to get back to the room. Because I'm at a teaching hospital (much as I am with Jonalyn), we saw one nurse, then another, then the resident, then the doctor. All of that drags out the appointment. The doctor was very nice and took the time to explain everything to us. He even drew pictures - much better for this visual learner!

I'm glad he explained things, because it turns out my cancer is not lobular but ductal. And it had traveled outside of the duct, making it invasive, thus the need for all of these other tests.

I have two options for how I want to handle radiation. I could have the traditional method - 5 days and week for 6 weeks. Or I could become part of a research study and have it 5 days a week for 3 weeks. Doug and I are more comfortable with the traditional method and so that I probably how I will have it. Bummer, because it looks like I won't be able to go on our annual camping trip this year :(

Tomorrow I meet with the medical oncologist. He will explain about the tamoxifen and any possible chemo. Another information dump. My sentinel node biopsy is scheduled for next Tuesday.

Please continue to pray for me. Praise the Lord for the good HER-2 result. Pray that I will have the strength to deal with all of these appointment and that I would be clear-headed enough to understand all that I'm being told. Pray that the Lord would be near to me now. Thank you all for your love and support.

PS. - A very kind soul sent me some beautiful flower. I'm trying to upload them, but blogger isn't happy with me today :(

Surgeon Appointment and MRI Results

Yesterday, Doug and I met with the surgeon for the results of the breast MRI and to discuss the next steps in my treatment. We got news that was as good as we could get. The MRI was clear - there is no cancer in either breast. That is a huge praise. He said he got good 1 cm margins around each tumor, so that was good news as well.

The tumor tested positive for both estrogen and progesterone receptors, meaning that it was hormone sensitive. This means I will need to take tamoxifin for five years, but this should help to prevent a recurrence.

We are waiting for some other test results. Early next week I should have the HER-2 results. This is another indicator of recurrence. If this is positive, it would mean chemo, every other week for a year delivered via IV. He said that I wouldn't lose my hair with this drug.

They will also run an oncotype, which tests 32 different genes. If the oncotype score is low, no chemo. If it is high (not likely with my type of tumor), chemo.

The last will be the lymph nodes. I would like to wait until we have the HER-2 and the oncotype back before I have this surgery. It will help to determine whether or not a mastectomy might be a good option. I would rather not have to have one.

Radiation is definite. It generally is given five days a week for five weeks. There is an ongoing study that shows promising results in which patients are given radiation twice a day for five days. Even if I would apply for the study and be accepted, it's no guarantee that I would have the shorter version.

I was thankful to have Doug with me yesterday. I asked good questions that helped us to understand (I hope!) what the doctor was saying. I'm also thankful for a good doctor who is willing to take the time to explain things to his patients.

Early next week I will need to see both the medical and radiation oncologists. Hopefully I will have the information I need so I can have the sentinel lymph node biopsy either late this coming week or early the next.

I have a great sense of relief that the tests so far have been good. Please keep praying that we will keep getting good news. Pray for a continued sense of peace and trust. I did have some ups and downs last week as the news began to sink in. Pray also for low side effects from the drugs I will need to take. I'm kinda sensitive. In fact, I had to pull my steri-strips off from my surgery because I had an allergic reaction to the adhesive. Ugh.

Thank you all so much for the kind and encouraging words. We have a God who is bigger than cancer, bigger than my fear. He has shown his grace and his faithfulness to me. Sometimes as frail humans, we want to fix our problems ourselves. Even if the doctors are able to cure me, they only have that ability through God. Yes, I must research and make sure I'm getting the best medical care I can, but I'm relying on him to give me wisdom each step of the way.

Diagnosis

You may or may not have noticed my silence for the past few weeks. Part of the reason is because I have been very busy working on book 2, Daisies Last Forever. The deadline is fast approaching.

The other reason is that I have been dealing with something of a medical crisis. About 2 months ago, I found a lump in my breast. I put off going to the doctor because I was hoping it would go away on its own. It didn't. Though I was scared of what the news might be, I was more frightened to leave it alone, so I made an appointment with my doctor.

I figured I would get in the office and she would try to find it and would think I was a crazy lady because she wouldn't be able to feel anything. I was wrong. I had a mammogram and nothing showed up on there. Ladies, please do BOTH self-exams and mammograms. The ultrasound revealed two masses, one about 1 cm and the other a few millimeters. Both small. The one looked like it might not be contained but growing into the breast tissue.

I had a needle biopsy - not fun - and the results showed the masses were benign. Great rejoicing in our household. My surgeon (whom I love, BTW) suggested removing the masses so I didn't have to worry about them growing or changing and I wouldn't have to have repeat ultrasounds. I wanted to wait until October when my calendar cleared up a bit, but he suggested having them removed as soon as possible.

On Friday, I underwent a lumpectomy. Anesthesia and I have never gotten along very well. I had a difficult time waking up and had some anxiety. Like wanting to rip my skin from my body. But the procedure went well, the doctor felt he got both of the lumps and the margins looked good.

He called on Monday with the pathology report. I guess when they take out masses, they double check them. They turned out to be malignant.

I have breast cancer.

I spoke to the doctor on the phone and much of what he told me after the diagnosis went over my head. I do have lobular carcinoma and it can spread. I had an MRI yesterday to check the other breast. Everyone talks about how they freak out in the MRI machine, but I was able to lay face down. I closed my eyes, prayed and planned Brian's graduation party. They gave me headphones to listen to the radio, but I couldn't hear it over the noise of the machine. The technician said the noise would be like jackhammers and she wasn't kidding.

I'm in a holding pattern right now. On Friday, Doug and I will meet with the surgeon and I should get the results of my MRI then. I believe he mentioned day surgery to remove some lymph nodes to see of the cancer has spread. That would likely happen next week. We would also need results of some genetic tests, hormone tests and some protein test. Once we have those and I meet with both the medical and radiation oncologists, we should formulate a course of treatment. In all likelihood, I will at least need radiation.

The Lord has been so good to me through all of this. I have a peace I cannot explain except that he has given it to me. His fingerprints are all over these events - I felt the lump, my surgeon was quick to act and persistent that it be taken care of. He has provided a wonderful support system - my husband and children, friends, my church, my family, everyone in my life.

There is a purpose behind this time in my life. There are three desired outcomes I am praying for: that my personal faith may be strengthened, that my testimony would reach many for Christ, and that I will be a cancer survivor. I ask you to join me in these prayers.